Howitzer: Yo, man, what the fxck happened to you?

-=[The man, obviously in alot of pain rolls over onto his back. His face battered and dry blood is around his lips.]=-

Man: Uuuuh. Two men. Belt me, for money. They were the guys I owed money, they are in the Mafia or something. Two other men, one big man. One man the size of my thumb save me from being robbed. They tell me to shoo, I go. AAAAhhh. They just let me go.....I needed to go to a hospital or something. But instead they let me go, half unconcious. They sat there and talked as if they were wrestlers, oblivious to me not far away stumble onto my face. Then soon as they leave, the two mens buddies who were beating me up came and hit me with sticks. They tried to chop of my finger, but they just took my ring and left. I gaze up, blurry as they were I saw them help out there buddies from the trashcan Biggie and Smally put them in. Then the four of them came back and that's all I can remember.

Shrapnel: FXCK man. So the people who saved you, left you to die in the mercy of the Mafia, or the hood or whatever?

Man: It wasn't their, uggg, fault. They didn't know their friends were there.

Howitzer: It's not the point. The right thing to do was atleast take you to the local hospital. Now look what happened, hang on, we'll stay and wait for an ambulance to come. Shrapman, hurry and call somebody!

-=[Shrapnel quickly flicks his hand to his back pocket, Old Western Cowboy style and whips out his 6-Shooter Mobile Phone. Quickly he contacts the Paramedics, and tells them a general direction to go...]=-

Man: Thanks guys, how can I ever repay you?!

Howitzer: Stay out of the hood. Here...-=[Howitzer whips out his wallet.]=-..take this $1000 and after you get outta the hospital find somewhere good and rebuild your life.

-=[Some nearby street scum see the shiny dosh and make an attempt at it, they flick out there rusty knives and pick a fight.]=-

(In Try-hard Tough Guy voice)Scum #1: Givus your money b###h!

Shrapnel: Look here fellas. We don't have time. This poor man's dying and all you can think about is stealing a measly $1000?

Scum #2: Fxck you cxnt. Hand us ya money biotch, or I'll slash all yuz with my knife here, ya see?

Howitzer: Hey, you sound like Johnny Justice, wow. Can I have an autograph?

Scum #1: Don't take us lightly. We've had training, I know Kempo, Masubido, Tai Bo, Pimp Fu, Bong Fu, Karate, Kung Fu, The Way of the Dragon and most importantly of all I know how to use this knife here!

Shrapnel: Well, is that all? I know Kick-yo-ass-fu.

-=[With that the Street Scum make there move lunging forward with there weapons.]=-

Shrapnel: Damn, you guys are serious. I'd hate to beat on street scum but a good semaritans gotta do what a good semaritan's gotta do. Hell we may even get a bonus by Citizens Arrest!

-=[Cue Fight sequence, complete with proper grammer and tense.

As Scum #1 spins around after missing his knife thrust attack, he attemps a nice spin kick. Shrapnel stick an arm up blocking the petty attempt of physical violence. Scum #2 on the other hand, is proving succesfull, as he's landing quit a number of kicks and blows to the body of Howitzer. Howitzer's eye glints with pissed-off-iness as he catches Scum #2's hand in the palm of his hand. Howitzer leans over with all his might, the sound of hand bones breaking as you can see bits of Scum #2's hand-bones exit through the skin as blood trickles off his hand.]=-

Scum #2: OW. Stop,you're gunna pay ya big piece of cra-owwwwwwwww

-=[Howitzer applies extra strength as you can literaly see the bones sticking outta his hand. Scum #1 sees his friend in pain and aims up Howitzer, and throws his Knife will all his might. Anime style-ee, Howitzer quickly snaps around aware of the approaching danger and throws the helpless body of Scum #2 into the line of the knife. Another shreak is heard as the body of Scum #2 falls to the ground with the knife in his arm. Scum #1 looks shocked and attempts a breakaway. That is untill Shrapnel whips out a can 'o beer from his back pocket and holds it up to the air, superhero style, and sculls it down. Before doing a hands-on-hips pose and taking off after Scum #1. In a matter of seconds Shrapnel takes off, tackling Scum #1 to the ground and serving up a dish of Dirt as the entree to the "Going to Jail" Rack of lamb.]=-

Howitzer: Man. We haven't had this much fun since, 'Nam. Make sure to tie that bizatch up, I'll tend to The Knife Holder over here.

Man: God. I wish you two saved me yesterday, It woulda been way better.

Howitzer: That's cool. The Ambulance should be here anysecond.

-=[As if on cue the ambulance tears around the corner, pulling up as paramedics rush out of the Ambulance and to the scene.]=-

Paramedic: Hey, you two! Leave them men alone, they're injured you could kill them.

Man: No,no,no. They saved my life, and in an act of self defense defeated these would-be robbers from thier $1000 gift to me. Please, help me, I think I have internal bleeding.

Paramedic: Oh, my bad.....

-=[With that the sound of the scene fades off with the picture of the Paramedics helping the Beaten man into the ambulance, and attending to the Would-be-robbees as Espionage sits back at the sidelines talking to the chief paramedic.]=-